Posts Tagged Top 5

Too Good to Be True; Too Crazy to Make Up

Posted by zoboxrox in malfunction, not news on September 30th, 2009

I’m trying to be more fun… now that the political atmosphere has gotten completely morbid and depressing, while there’s still a lot going on, more than ever before in fact, no one seems all that interested.  Including, and probably most apparently, myself.  So I thought I’d try to….(gasp)…. broaden my horizon.

Here’s my Top 5 Headlines (a la Leno) from this week, that I just had to share because they’re too good not to:

5. Spencer Pratt ‘barely having sex’ with Heidi Montag

artspencerheidigi

Number Five comes to us from CNN.  Believe it.  I don’t know what the hell is going on in the world, but here is direct a quote from the article, which many different people from CNN had to write, edit, copy, approve, and publish:

Speaking to the New York Post’s PopWrap on Tuesday, Pratt, 26, said that he’s tried to prevent Montag, 23, from realizing her dreams of becoming a young mother — by refusing her sex.

“I’m not even kidding, my wife — OK, I’m gonna get crass here — but we’re barely having sex because I’m scared that she’s gonna have a baby,” he said. “That’s the level our marriage is on right now. I’m not even kidding — my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts.”

Spencer, I’m pretty sure you can find someone to cut your balls off for you.  CNN — what the fuck were you thinking?

4. Why Women Have Sex (again, CNN) or Why Women Have Sex (Newsweek…. really Newsweek, really?)

women-sex-quiz-slah1

What makes a woman want to have sex? Is it physical attraction? Love? Loneliness? Jealousy? Boredom? Painful menstrual cramps?

I’m not going to say I’ve never heard that one before, cause I’d be lying, but come on!  How many people out there right now are really having sex to sooth cramps?! What kind of question is this anyway?  Why not ask the same of men…. because its obvious?  Well, I find this to be fairly obvious too.  Newsweek, what do you think?

Researchers have historically theorized that women’s motives lie in love and commitment, while newer studies have shown they do it for pleasure, just like men. But women are complicated creatures: their sexual health is determined as much by their emotions as by their physical state

Wow, that is truly impressive journalism.  What you’re telling me is women are effected by how they feel physically AND emotionally?  This is groundbreaking.  Is there a book?  Of course there’s a book, called, guess what, Why Women Have Sex. The sad thing is, I bet half the people who buy this will be female.

3. Fugitive Stripper Zaps Coworker (Thank you Fox)

Not much substance here, just a great headline.

2. Porn Surfing Rampant At U.S. Government Agency (Huffington Post from The Washington Times)

This story, however, is incredible.

s-porn-rampant-at-government-agency-large

Its long, but YOU HAVE TO READ THIS:

An investigative report by The Washington Times reveals porn surfing by employees has been rampant at the National Science Foundation, a government agency that received $6 billion in taxpayer funding in 2008.

Out of 10 misconduct cases at the NSF, at least seven involved workers viewing online pornography.

A senior executive at the foundation was found to have spent at least 331 days looking at porn and chatting with naked or scantily-clad women on his work computer. When confronted, he tried to justify it as a charitable act:

When finally caught, the NSF official retired. He even offered, among other explanations, a humanitarian defense, suggesting that he frequented the porn sites to provide a living to the poor overseas women. Investigators put the cost to taxpayers of the senior official’s porn surfing at between $13,800 and about $58,000.  “He explained that these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that,” investigators wrote in a memo.

1. Judge weighs whether cows enjoyed ’suckling’ cop’s member (appropriately, this is from The Raw Story)

calfs

I went ahead and saved the best for last, so you’re welcome.

A Pennsylvania judge pondered a very unusual question during a ruling issued Monday: When a former police officer stuck his male member in the mouths of five baby cows, did they enjoy “suckling” it, or were they merely “puzzled”?robertmelialikescows-1

“During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006…

Weighing the case, Judge James J. Morley reportedly asked: “If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk’?”

Equating the act of putting a penis in the mouth of a cow with a human baby suckling on a pacifier, the judge reportedly added: “They [children] enjoy the act of suckling. Cows may be of a different disposition.”…

Because bestiality is not illegal where the officer committed the acts, Melia was only charged with animal cruelty, leading the judge to determine what exactly constitutes cruelty in this case….

“I’m not saying it’s OK,” the judge said, according to the New York Daily News. “This is a legal question for me. It’s not a questions of morals. It’s not a question of hygiene. It’s not a question of how people should conduct themselves.”

The owner of the cows, the Daily News added, was very upset at the ruling.

I bet the cows weren’t too happy either.  How would you feel if this guy stuck his male member in your mouth without asking?

, , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments

Why why why why why?

Posted by zoboxrox in corporate america, economy, health, human rights, international, malfunction, politics, religion, tragedy on August 17th, 2009

So, the major problem with American Democracy is that it is representative: we elect people who we feel will represent our views within the legislative body upon which they sit – we do not participate in our democracy directly — we are not always privy to the actual truth. Majority rules, and so depending on where you are and who won your local elections, this means you may not be represented at all.  If your guy lost, then basically, you’re voice remains silent as your elected representative fulfills the needs of most of the people, which could be as little as one percentage point over half, in your district/county/state.

republic-8

The reason this is a major problem, it seems pretty clear to me now, is that the majority of Americans are at worst stupid, and at best simply irresponsible, ignorant, gullible, stubborn, and set in their ways.  What always amazes me is the fact that people actually vote against what’s in their own best interest: fiscally, the Republican Party only benefits around 5% of the population.

With Universal Health Care we meet a similar problem.  Many of the people who’s lives would be improved by it, are being lied to and misinformed.  Take this guy, for instance, who if you can believe it, is actually a Senator, Chuck Grassley of Iowa.  He doesn’t even come close to answering the question he’s been asked, and then he lies, repeatedly, to those who he is supposed to be representing:

YouTube Preview Image

Come on Chuck.  LETS BE TRUTHFUL!!

So here are the Top 5 lies about some of our health care options, and the one truth standing in its way:

LIES:

1. Single Payer Health Care is the same thing Socialized Medicine: NOT TRUE

Socialized Medicine doesn’t actually exist, but if it did, it would still be different than Single Payer System.  Under “socialized medicine” the doctors work for the government directly.  Single Payer simply means there is a single fund or insurance company which is making payments aka “centralized payment”:

Single-payer health insurance is a term used in the United States to describe the legislated insurance of individuals by way of centralized payment of doctors, hospitals, and other health care providers and facilities…. The administrator of the fund could be the government but it could also be a publicly owned agency regulated by law

2. Socialized Medicine leads to Socialism: NOT TRUE

We currently have socialized the following industries, and I’m pretty sure most every American, red-blooded or blue, would like to keep it this way: The Police Department, The Fire Department, The United States Postal Service, The Public Education System, The Public Library, and Neighborhood Parks and Recreational Services.

Imagine the outrage if we decided to privatize fire services, and unless you had insurance, your local department, no matter how close or how able, would simply let your house burn down.  And we don’t talk about a government run Fire Department - it has not communalized our way of life, nor taken control of our personal liberties.  It is simply something no American could imagine living without, which is exactly how they feel about health care in the countries where it is free.

3. Universal Health Care would be more expensive than our current system: NOT TRUE

Turns out, we spend more right now, both individually and as a nation, than we would in a government funded option.

A 2003 study examined costs and outputs in the U.S and other industrialized countries and broadly concluded that the U.S spends so much because its health care system is more costly. It noted that “…the United States spent considerably more on health care than any other country…[yet] most measures of aggregate utilization such as physician visits per capita and hospital days per capita were below the OECD median. Since spending is a product of both the goods and services used and their prices, this implies that much higher prices are paid in the United States than in other countries.

Perhaps it has something to do with the $71 Billion that Pfizer raked in last year, or the $61 Billion Johnson & Johnson made on pharmaceutical products alone.

4. Health Care in countries with a Universal System suffers in quality as a result: NOT TRUE

Not only is health care in the United States more expensive than it is in any other “first world” country, it turns out, its also not as good.  I have this argument all the time: “Oh but we have by far the best health care in the world…” or “I’d rather be in a hospital in America than anywhere else….”  Funny.  The World Health Organization disagrees with you.  As do over half of the citizens of Western Europe.

See here.  Or here.  Or here.  Or here.

5. The government wants to create “Death Panels” in order to kill your elderly grandmother or your disabled child: JUST SO NOT TRUE

While a “death panel” more or less already exists, its called an insurance company, this particular piece of nonsense actually stems from a bill, written by a Republican member of Congress mind you, which requested that, part of health care reform would include end of life counseling for those approaching death.  The horrors!

A couple months ago I had the opportunity to see New York Times contributor Jane Brody speak on her newest book, Jane Brody’s Guide to the Great Beyond: A Practical Primer to Help You and Your Loved Ones Prepare Medically, Legally, and Emotionally for the End of Life. As someone who, throughout her entire career has focused on living well and prolonging a healthy life, I can truly say Jane Brody is not the kind of person who would kill your grandma.  She is, however, knowledgeable enough on the subject of death, that I trust her when she says the following: receive End of Life counseling, have a living will and a health care proxy, if you are in a situation where death is a possibility, acknowledge that!

stupid_voter

So if your little old grandma is sitting at home alone, listening to conservative talk radio, clutching her shotgun and trembling in fear for her life, please just bring her a newspaper.  If she can’t see the tiny print, read it out loud to her! Because right now, the people she’s supposed to be able to trust, well they’re lying and it ain’t helping granny out one little bit.

, , , , , , , ,

1 Comment

Who Loves the Sun?

Posted by zoboxrox in health, science on July 17th, 2009

panoramicsunset30cmx80cm1

In honor of our new Surgeon General, and the fact that I imagine a lot of you are indoors right now, here are the Top 5 reasons you shouldn’t feel bad about missing out on the sun this summer.

1. Sun Burns:

While I’m the last person who should ever lecture about sunburns, (last weekend I literally got one on my eyeballs… if you don’t believe me, here’s a link) I thought I’d offer a little insight into what is actually happening to your skin — and mine — when we spend too much time in the sun.

A sunburn is a burn to living tissue such as skin produced by overexposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation, commonly from the sun’s rays. Usual mild symptoms in humans and animals are red or reddish skin that is hot to the touch, general fatigue, and mild dizziness.

After the exposure, skin may turn red in as little as 30 minutes but most often takes 2 to 6 hours. Pain is usually most extreme 6 to 48 hours after exposure. The burn continues to develop for 24 to 72 hours occasionally followed by peeling skin in 3 to 8 days. Some peeling and itching may continue for several weeks.

willsmithbdayslut

2. Sun Poisoning:

Been there, done that.  Once again, not lecturing here.  Just sharing some important information with my favorite people.

Sun poisoning and sun burns are actually the same thing: your skin’s allergic reaction to the sun.

In the case of sun poisoning, however, the reaction is a bit more severe and the symptoms may become seriously uncomfortable. A typical sunburn involves itching, redness, and peeling. Severe sunburns may also be accompanied by small blisters that may lead to infection. Symptoms of sun poisoning also tend to include nausea, fever, headache, and dizziness and may also be accompanied by fluid loss and electrolyte imbalance.

3. Sun Damage:

This may be the hardest pill for some of you to swallow but I’ve got to keep you informed: A tan is actually a sign of damage and the body’s attempt to protect itself from further harm.

sunburnWrinkles, Sun Spots, Leather, Oh my!

  • Contrary to popular belief, a tan is not “healthy.” A tan is a sign that damage has been done to your skin.
  • When exposed to the sun’s UV rays, your skin’s melanocytes produce melanin, the dark pigment that creates a tan. A tan is your skin’s attempt to prevent UV rays from doing any further damage to the sensitive skin cells in your epidermis.
  • A tan does not help protect your skin from getting a sunburn in the future. A tan is equivalent to merely an SPF 4.

I’m not trying to kill everyone’s summer.  Just be aware.  Wear SPF - UVA and UVB protection!  Tan gradually.

4. Cataracts:

vi7_cataractAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  (no offense)

5. Skin Cancer:

From the Skin Cancer Foundation:

  • Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States. More than one million skin cancers are diagnosed annually.
  • Each year there are more new cases of skin cancer than the combined incidence of cancers of the breast, prostate, lung and colon.
  • One in five Americans will develop skin cancer in the course of a lifetime.
  • In 2004, the total direct cost associated with the treatment for non-melanoma skin cancers was more than $1 billion.
  • About 90 percent of non-melanoma skin cancers are associated with exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from the sun.
  • The incidence of many common cancers is falling, but the incidence of melanoma continues to rise significantly, at a rate faster than that of any of the seven most common cancers.
  • Melanoma accounts for about three percent of skin cancer cases, but it causes more than 75 percent of skin cancer deaths.tjfhhy8spsfwpyblpf

, , , , ,

12 Comments

While You Were Mourning…

Posted by zoboxrox in environment, health, international, malfunction, miracle, not news, politics, religion, science, tragedy on July 2nd, 2009

cnn1

So my favorite eatery has captioned CNN on their television at all times (hence, my favorite) and while the 24/7 media channel has a tendency to be a little hokey, perhaps overblown, and often downright dramatic (but no news is good news right?), I respect them simply for the fact that they are huge enough to sink their perfectly manicured, yet often clumsy, claws into most every major news item au current.  I can’t help myself, then, from feeling majorly disappointed that this generally satisfactory and overly accessible outlet for information is, at this very moment, reporting “BREAKING NEWS: VIDEO OF MICHAEL JACKSON’S FINAL REHEARSAL RELEASED.”  (Here it is if you’re curious… entertaining, but not news)

YouTube Preview Image

I have to ask myself, is this really breaking news?  And don’t get me wrong, I love MJ.  I was a die hard Jackson fan even when it was embarrassing to admit.  My list of favorite songs include some of the lesser known, deeper felt (”She’s Out of My Life” now has a whole new meaning), and I’m proud to say that while its not a consistent ability, I have successfully moonwalked on occasion.  BUT — before I am a Michael Jackson fan, I am a citizen of the world, and my deeper concern lies in what has happened in the week since his untimely passing.  So here is the list of Top 5 News Events that occurred while you were mourning:

p71300101. Lets start with the ridiculously important act by the House last Friday, June 26, which, after years of ignoring the inconvenient truth, passed H.R. 2454, or The American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009.  While the act itself is far (far far far far) from perfect, and in truth it dragged itself across the finish line at the last second, winning by only seven votes, it is hugely significant because it is the first time Congress has formally recognized what every other thinking American knows as Global Warming, Climate Change, the Greenhouse Effect (remember that one?), the End of the World, etc:

The vote was the first time either house of Congress had approved a bill meant to curb the heat-trapping gases scientists have linked to climate change. The legislation, which passed despite deep divisions among Democrats, could lead to profound changes in many sectors of the economy, including electric power generation, agriculture, manufacturing and construction.

climate_200309_2

President Obama hailed the House passage of the bill as “a bold and necessary step.” He said in a statement that he looked forward to Senate action that would send a bill to his desk “so that we can say, at long last, that this was the moment when we decided to confront America’s energy challenge and reclaim America’s future.”

But I bet a lot of people didn’t hear about this.  After all, we’d only had a day since Michael’s passing.  Who cares about… you know, the world…?

2. Two days later, on Sunday June 28th, a little place called Honduras, you may have heard of it, its part of our continent, went ahead and had themselves a coup. central-america-caribbean Back story is as follows: Left-leaning President Manuel Zelaya (think Chavez, with a mustache) was pushing for legislative reform which would allow him to lift the term restrictions for presidents, enabling him to run again (think Mayor Bloomberg, without the cash).  Apparently the military found this completely unacceptable, and in the middle of the night, took over the government and exiled Zelaya to Costa Rica (actually, that sounds pretty nice).29hondurasinlineb650

In the first military coup in Central America since the end of the cold war, soldiers stormed the presidential palace in the capital, Tegucigalpa, early in the morning, disarming the presidential guard, waking Mr. Zelaya and putting him on a plane to Costa Rica.

Mr. Zelaya, a leftist aligned with President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela, angrily denounced the coup as illegal. “I am the president of Honduras,” he insisted at the airport in San José, Costa Rica, still wearing his pajamas….

Church services were canceled and most people stayed home. Several thousand protesters supporting the president faced off against soldiers outside the presidential palace, burning tires.

The government television station and a television station that supports the president were taken off the air. Television and radio stations broadcast no news.  Only wealthy Hondurans with access to the Internet and cable television were able to follow the day’s events.

Normally a coup would be pretty big news — HUGE.  Remember in Pretty Woman when she goes back into the store to tell them what a mistake they’ve made by not letting her shop — HUGE MISTAKE — well this is huge the way that was.

3. Another two days later, in the early morning of Tuesday June 30, a passenger plane, an Airbus 310 to be exact, carrying 153 people, crashed on its way from Yemen to the Comoros Islands.  200963031342124734_5

While normally this would be an instant global tragedy for the world to rubberneck, the story becomes even more unbelievable, as a sole survivor, a 14 year old girl who can barely swim, is rescued, found floating in the Indian Ocean.  The young woman, Bahia Bakari, was traveling with her mother and three siblings, all of whom are believed to be dead, and cannot explain how it is she managed to stay alive.

A severely bruised young girl believed to be the only survivor of an Indian Ocean pFrance Yemen Plane Crashlane crash flew back Thursday to Paris, where she was embraced gently by her father, who tried to lift her spirits with a joke.

Bahia Bakari, 12, returned to France from the Comoros Islands on a French government plane. The Falcon-900 jet with medical facilities left the archipelago nation, a former French colony, and arrived at Le Bourget airport just north of Paris…

Bahia, described by her father as a fragile girl who could barely swim, spent over 13 hours in the water clinging to wreckage before she was rescued. She was found suffering from hypothermia, a fractured collarbone and widespread bruises to her face, elbow and foot….

“In the midst of the mourning, there is Bahia. It is a miracle, it is an absolutely extraordinary battle for survival,” France’s cooperation minister, Alain Joyandet, who flew back with her, said at the airport. “It’s an enormous message that she sends to the world … almost nothing is impossible.”

And yet, there are people who don’t even know this story, haven’t even heard of Bahia, because Michael Jackson died last week, and there’s only so much room for misery in one’s life.

4. Later that very same day, Al Franken defeated Norm Coleman in the final battle of the war for the Minnesota Senate Seat.

about_norm_colemang-cvr-090630-franken-1110ahmedium1

Apparently Coleman had to dip into his dental fund to continue the lawsuit, and when pressed with the idea that he may be required to shell out even more cash, decided to call it quits, like a true conservative.  Obama now has 60 friends in the Senate.  He can basically do anything he wants.  Even Bush never had it this good.  And while I’m sure people know this happened, no one really seems to care.  All of the passion Americans have put into politics over the past year, seems to have died with MJ.

5. Finally, the people of Iran continued to struggle for basic human rights, like freedom, and fairness, and safety.  They continued to protest, continued to recieve beatings, continued to be kidnapped, murdered, or worst of all, disappeared.  They continued to document their troubles as well, but couldn’t post the images online, their main resource at this time, because the inernet had basically crashed with Michael Jackson frenzy.

So here’s a little video someone put up on YouTube to remind us all, its not over, its only just begun.

YouTube Preview Image

(Amanda — don’t watch this)

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments

Hypocricy In Action

Posted by zoboxrox in international, malfunction, not news, politics on April 27th, 2009

Lots of talk over this picture, God forbid Americans smile when we greet someone.

NEWS-US-SUMMIT-AMERICAS

How dare Obama try to smooth things over with someone who really hasn’t done anything to us except talk a little smack (most of it, in all reality, was true).  Aren’t we tougher than that?  Sticks and stones people, sticks and stones!

As for meeting with someone who commits crimes against humanity or jails political opponents, well there’s a long history of that.  You may not be surprised that this is actually not the first time an American President has played nice with “the enemy.” Lets look back a little.

  1. Nixon and Mao20050616114538nixon_mao_1972-02-29
  2. Nixon and Castroimage085
  3. Reagan and Gorbachevreagan-excerpt-0902-01
  4. Reagan and Bush and Gorbachevreagan_bush_gorbachev_in_new_york_1988
  5. Personal Favorite: Donald Rumsfeld and Sadam Hussein

handshake

Listen Dick Cheney, I get that you’re mad and you want to complain about something.  Just pick battles that don’t completely blow up in your face.

, , , ,

2 Comments

Baby-Pubes Behaving Badly

Posted by zoboxrox in not news, politics on March 26th, 2009

mr_baby_elephant1

While Bristol Palin is the obvious go to when you’re talking about non-conventional spawns of prominent republican party members, there’s actually a lot out there, and this post is dedicated to them, not in cynicism but more in sisterhood.  You know, kind of a “you go girl” to those on the other end of things who haven’t been afraid to exhibit their own wild sides.

So here are the TOP 5 Baby Pubes and the reason they make the list:

5. Megan McCain, daughter of Arizona Republican Senator and former Presidential Candidate John McCain

meghanmccainI wasn’t always crazy about Megan, during the campaign I likened her to a less skeletal, less fluorescently-inclined Cindy Mac, despite her consistent composure and the fact that she’s a fellow blogger.  Well since her father lost the election, and has obviously moved on himself, Megan has opened up about some of her more progressive views, most recently during a Larry King interview, during which she declared:

I consider myself a progressive Republican. I am liberal on social issues. And I think that the party is at a place where social issues shouldn’t be the issues that define the party. And I have taken heat, but in fairness to me, I am a different generation than the people that are giving me heat. I’m 24 years old.

I believe in gay marriage. … I personally am pro-life, but I’m not going to judge someone that’s pro-choice. It is not my place to judge other people and what they do with their body. [In other words, she is pro-choice].

She also recently got into a little tiff with some of her party’s more hideous creatures, Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter, which concluded more or less with Megan’s “Kiss My Fat Ass” comment, which I quite liked (and connected with).

YouTube Preview Image

4. Mary Cheney, Daughter of former Vice President and most evil man on earth Dick Cheney

mary_cheneycheneybaby533

Now I’m not giving Mary Cheney props just because she’s gay; I realize being gay, like being straight, is neither rebellious nor wild.  I am, however, impressed with her bravery and resolve, growing up in an obviously conservative family and making the decision to live her life out and proud, unapologetically, it must have been hard at some point down the line.  Despite the odds against her, Mary Cheney became pregnant and celebrated the birth of her child in 2007 with her long-time partner Heather Poe.  So while I don’t believe Mary Cheney to be the strongest advocate for gay rights, I do think simply by living her life out in the open she has demonstrated a kind of courage I can’t even imagine having to possess.

3. George W. Bush (01), Son of former President and Congressperson George H. W. Bush (91)

entire_bush_familybush-beer

The proto-type for baby pubes behaving badly, George Bush (oo) was a notorious wild child in his olden days.   Before he discovered jesus and gave up the Alcohol, there are stories about him that actually sound kind of fun.  So much so that Oliver Stone made a whole movie about it, “W.” and if you are really interested, I’m sure they’ve got it at Virgin for 5 bucks.

2. The Bush Twins, Daughters of former President George W. Bush (00)

bush_twins_prankBefore the Palins ever made the main stage, there were the Bush Twins!  They were the Paris Hiltons of Washington, making trouble wherever they went.  According to their Wikipedia Article: On April 29, 2001, Barbara Bush [the better behaved of the two] was charged with a Class C misdemeanor for being in the possession of alcohol under the age 21 in Austin. On May 29, 2001, Bush was charged with another misdemeanor — attempting to use a fake ID (with the name Barbara Pierce, her paternal grandmother’s maiden name) to purchase alcohol.

bushdaughtersjenna1

Here they are looking drunk.  Like their father before them, these girls seem like they could be a good time.  Rumor has it, Laura Bush sold weed in college; makes sense to me.

1. Bristol Palin, daughter of former Vice-Presidential Running Mate Sarah Palin

bristol-palin-baby-sonI mean, you knew she had to be number one right?

Bristol Palin is a heroic yet tragic figure.  After living a life of privilege and basic anonymity, 17-year old Bristol was thrust into the spotlight at a time in her life when the spot light may not have been what she needed.  Already four months pregnant when her mother was announced as the Republican Vice Presidential Nominee, Bristol became fodder for late night shows and left-leaning media pundits (meanwhile, the GOP had a grand old time making complete hypocrites out of themselves).  Despite pressure to marry her baby-daddy, Bristol  dumped the former high school hockey player.  She then went on television, and despite everything her mother stands for, declared that abstinence is in fact, NOT the answer.  I like this chick.  She’s got balls.   And I bet she can hold her liquor.  They must drink a whole lot up in cold Alaska.

palinfamily_outside_v01

, , , , , ,

8 Comments

Barbie v. Barbara Bush; Best Week Ever: 3/3-3/10

Posted by zoboxrox in economy, health, human rights, international, malfunction, military, politics, powerful women, religion, tragedy on March 10th, 2009

1. Obama reverses Bush’s ridiculous Stem Cell funding restriction; I shudder to think of what they will say about us one hundred years from now.

embryonic-stem-cellstem-cell

“In recent years, when it comes to stem cell research, rather than furthering discovery, our government has forced what I believe is a false choice between sound science and moral values. In this case, I believe the two are not inconsistent. As a person of faith, I believe we are called to care for each other and work to ease human suffering. I believe we have been given the capacity and will to pursue this research — and the humanity and conscience to do so responsibly.” Obama, 03.09.08

I like to think of myself a realist, and the sad fact that people get sick and die should never change; c’est la vie, as they say.  But considering the amount of unnecessary and unnatural spinal cord and brain injuries that have been inflicted on our young soldiers in the past five years, I’d say at this point we owe them at the very least the effort.  stemcells_540

According to Current, the move is more than just a single incident; it is an entire policy change in the way our Government interacts with our Scientists.  In fact, what is so ironic about the partisan divide over the issue is, by passing the second half of the resolution, Obama is actually limiting the scope of government: this is, by definition, a conservative idea, which should appeal to the Libertarian views of true Republicans, but is lost upon the ridiculous argument of life at conception.

“Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident,” said Obama. “They result from painstaking and costly research — from years of lonely trial and error, much of which never bears fruit — and from a government willing to support that work.”

The order is part of a broader declaration on science that will guide the administration’s policies on matters ranging from renewable energy to climate change.

“This order is an important step in advancing the cause of science in America. But let’s be clear: promoting science isn’t just about providing resources — it is also about protecting free and open inquiry,” said the president. “It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it’s inconvenient — especially when it’s inconvenient.”

2. Speaking of medical miracles, Obama also began his health care summit this past week, despite the fact he currently lacks an HHS Secretary, Surgeon General, and Health Care Czar.  This fact was overshadowed, however, by Ted Kennedy’s return to Washington (since his collapse at Obama’s inauguration in January) and another history book speech by our President.

YouTube Preview Image

Each of us must accept that none of us will get everything that we want, and that no proposal for reform will be perfect. If that’s the measure, we will never get anything done.

But when it comes to addressing our health care challenge, we can no longer let the perfect be the enemy of the essential. And I don’t think anybody would argue that we are on a sustainable path when it comes to health care.

Finally, I want to be very clear, at the outset, that, while everybody has a right to take part in this discussion, nobody has the right to take it over and dominate.

The status quo is the one option that’s not on the table, and those who seek to block any reform at all, any reform at any costs, will not prevail this time around.

Meanwhile, Barbara Bush has a valve in her heart replaced with that of a pig… too easy…

barbara_bush_beautiful-7557361

3. Unemployment rate at 8.1%, 25 year high. The Dow continues to drop.  People all over the world panic.  I have no stocks, no job, and no equity, so my life has remained more or less the same, but apparently, this is bad news.  10% rate predicted by Spring 2010.

4. Obama begins his overhaul of the education System; No Child Left Behind finally behind us. 17early_600

We have let our grades slip, our schools crumble, our teacher quality fall short and other nations outpace us.  The time for finger-pointing is over. The time for holding ourselves accountable is here. The relative decline of American education is untenable for our economy, unsustainable for our democracy and unacceptable for our children, and we cannot afford to let it continue… I know there are some who believe we can only handle one challenge at a time.  We don’t have the luxury of choosing between getting our economy moving now and rebuilding it over the long term.


5. Barbie turns 50. Mirrors all over the world shatter.

new-barbie

, , , ,

No Comments

Rush Limbaugh, DFL: “De Facto Leader” or “Dumb Fat Loser”?

Posted by zoboxrox in malfunction, politics, powerful women on March 6th, 2009

rush_limbaugh

Now my eight year old cousin tells me its a horrible thing to call someone stupid, and while she’s right and I try to avoid pettiness for the most part, I just had to get something off my chest: Rush Limbaugh is one of the most disgusting human beings alive!! How could he possibly be the spokesperson for Conservatives: the family party, the righteous, the holy?  Do they know anything about him?

Here’s some bio info, which you can find easily on the Internet, but which apparently has gone un-remembered during the recent weeks in which Limbaugh has been called the de-facto leader of the Republican Party.  While repubes themselves don’t agree, he has managed to reinvent himself as an actual, potentially powerful political figure.  So here are some… whats the word… hypocrisies, which I think define Limbaugh pretty well:

rush

1. Young Rush was born in a little town in Missouri, the bell-weather state, called Cape Girardeau, where his family had been prominent, well-to-do, and politically active and conservative for many generations.  Despite the pressure of success placed on the young Limbaugh, and the many opportunities he had as the son, grandson, and nephew of many successful lawyers and judges, Rush had no interest in education, and failed out of college after two semesters.  In the words of his mother he “flunked everything,” including his modern ballroom dancing class.   I feel kind of bad for Rush at this point in his life.  Despite the fact that he looks much, much, much cooler back then, knowing what I know about Rush I certainly wouldn’t choose this guy as my dancing partner… would you?

2. Despite his lack of class, intelligence, any appeal whatsoever education, Rush broke out in the radio world in 1988, a year after Ronald Reagan repealed the Fairness Doctrine which required “the holders of broadcast licenses both to present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was (in the Commission’s view) honest, equitable and balanced.“  It was only after this repeal that Limbaugh was able to take off; only after fairness no longer became a reasonable expectation, did Rush become a national phenomenon.  He now makes approximately $30 million a year. Talk about fair…

rush_limbaugh1

3. He is known for his outward racism, chauvinism, and general bigotry. It must have been hard as hell for the world’s biggest vagina Michael Steele, who is apparently Black, to call Rush up and apologize to him, knowing what he knows about Rush’s past episodes with racism.

Further slips of the tongue include a recent suggestion to name the current health care reform, the Ted Kennedy Memorial Health Care Bill, suggesting the imminent death of the cancer-struck senator from Massachusetts.

He is highly critical of the Feminist Movement, saying, “Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.” He is also responsible for the term Feminazi, which he describes as a woman who’s life is centered around ensuring as many abortions as possible occur (I swear, I’m not making this up).

And perhaps most offensively, in the 90s, when national HIV rates were on the rise and stigma surrounded the disease, he was known to play Dionne Warick’s song “I know I’ll Never Love this Way Again,” preceding stories about people living with AIDS.

4. He has been married three times. Isn’t that, like, not allowed in the conservative movement?  Doesn’t that destroy the sanctity of marriage?

71275021WM001_Cast_of_24_Di

rush-limbaugh-girlfriend-kathryn-rogersc

5. He’s a Drug Addict and Doctor Shopper. Doesn’t anyone remember this?!

rushlimbaughwashigh

Rush Limbaugh and prosecutors in the long-running prescription fraud case against him have reached a deal calling for the only charge against the conservative commentator to be dropped without a guilty plea if he continues treatment, his attorney said Friday.

Limbaugh turned himself in to authorities on a warrant filed Friday charging him with fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions, said Teri Barbera, a spokeswoman for the Palm Beach County Jail. He and his attorney Roy Black left about an hour later, after Limbaugh was photographed and fingerprinted and he posted $3,000 bail, Barbera said.

Prosecutors’ three-year investigation of Limbaugh began after he publicly acknowledged being addicted to pain medication and entered a rehabilitation program. They accused Limbaugh of “doctor shopping,” or illegally deceiving multiple doctors to receive overlapping prescriptions, after learning that he received about 2,000 painkillers, prescribed by four doctors in six months, at a pharmacy near his Palm Beach mansion.

Please, someone explain to me how this man could ever possibly be mistaken as the leader of anything, except for maybe the gravy train?

, , , , , , , , ,

32 Comments

CPAC v. Iran aka “Worst Places on Earth”, Best Week Ever: 2/23-3/2

Posted by zoboxrox in international, malfunction, politics on March 4th, 2009

1. The Nation’s 50 Governors (+ some) assemble in DC to meet with the President, at the winter annual National Governors Association.  Mostly the event becomes a platform for partisan debate concerning the $787 million Stimulus Package, in what the Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, described as a “tug-of-war” between some moderate republican governors who are glad to have their share of the stimulus, such as Arnie and Charlie Crist of Florida, and those more aligned with old fashioned right-leaning principles, like, being an asshole.  Sanford identifies himself as the latter saying, “I am in the camp that says we go back to the basics.”

Strangely enough, it was Arnold who was most articulate on the matter saying, “Even though it is against your principles or philosophy [I believe that officeholders should be doing] what the people want you to do rather than getting stuck in your ideology.”

schwarzenegger

2. Obama gives first annual address to a joint session of Congress; introduces budget, Iraq withdrawal plan.

MSNBC on the budget:

Pledging “a new era of responsibility,” President Barack Obama unveiled a multi-trillion-dollar spending plan Thursday that would boost taxes on the wealthy, curtail Medicare, lay the groundwork for universal health care and leave a string of deficits dwarfing any in the nation’s history.

In addition to sending Congress his $3.55 trillion budget plan for 2010, Obama proposed more immediate changes that would push spending to $3.94 trillion in the current year. That would result in a record deficit Obama projects will hit $1.75 trillion, reflecting the massive spending being undertaken to battle a severe recession and the worst financial crisis in seven decades.

032609_deficit_chart21Meanwhile, I spent an hour in the waiting area of a public health care facility today with my boyfriend who was having a moderate dental emergency, and it was more or less a joke.  We ended up leaving to go to a private doctor before our number was even called.  I have no problem with overspending to ensure that all people have access to somewhat decent health care.  Anyone who does, is a total asshole… oh wait.

3. CPAC convenes, fairies all over the world die.  CPAC, which stands for Conservative Political Action Conference, is an annual gathering of some of the worst people our country has to offer.  This year’s highlights include the rise-and-fall of Bobby Jindal, a brilliant oratorical work by Rush Limbaugh, and a Romney straw-poll victory.

large_limbaugh

4. Iran has nuclear capabilities. I’d still rather be here than at CPAC, but the news is generally not that good this week.iran-nuke-programs4_26

5. Obama announces final Cabinet position nomination, two-term democratic governor of Kansas, Kathleen Sebelius for Secretary of Health and Human Services.  This is actually pretty good news; Sebelius is capable, qualified, and is an optimal replacement for Tom Daschle, Obama’s original nomination.

CNN describes her:

Sebelius is a two-term Democratic governor in a Republican-leaning state. She previously served as a state insurance commissioner and oversaw Kansas’ Medicaid program.

In a show of her bipartisan appeal, Republican governors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger of California and Jon Huntsman of Utah commended her selection.

Schwarzenegger said Sebelius “has a well-earned reputation of working across the political aisle,” and Huntsman called the appointment “a welcome announcement.”

Republicans from Sebelius’ home state also threw their support behind the governor.

Arnie, all over the place these days!  It appears YOU are having the best week ever!!

kathleen-sebelius

, , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments

Good Locke, Bad Locke, Who Knows?

Posted by zoboxrox in corporate america, crime, international, politics on February 27th, 2009

225px-gary_locke1

There is an old Chinese story, sometimes attributed to Lao Tzu that came to mind this morning as I read about Obama’s third pick for Commerce Secretary, former two-term Governor of Washington, Gary Locke.

There once lived an old farmer who had a weak, ailing horse for plowing his field. One day, the sickly horse ran away to the hills. The farmer’s neighbors offered their sympathy to him: “Such rotten luck!” they exclaimed.

“Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?” mused the farmer.

A week later, the old horse returned, bringing with it a herd of wild horses from the hills. This time, the neighbors swarmed around the farmer and congratulated him on his good luck. His reply however was the same: “Good luck? Bad luck? Who can tell?”

Sometime later, while trying to tame one of the wild horses, the farmer’s only son fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this was bad luck. “Bad luck? Good luck? I don’t know,” said the farmer.

A few weeks later, the king’s army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied young man living there. The farmer’ s son, who was laid up with a broken leg was let off, for he was thought to be of no use to them.

Now what was this? Good luck or bad luck? Who can tell?

Obama has gotten a lot of flack over his two failed previous Commerce Secretary picks, and in some circles at least, it has brought his once elevated persona down a few notches.  While he’s still pretty popular, his immaculate image has certainly been tainted by the repeated failure in picking the appropriate person for the position. But Locke just may be the perfect man (oxymoron, I know) for the job, the kind worth waiting for if you know what I mean. So in my preferred Top Five format,  let me tell you why:

photo_lg_china

1. One word: China. Seeing as we now owe China a couple trillion dollars (literally), its nice to have someone in the Presidential Cabinet who has a “cache” of experience dealing with the mega nation.  Seeing as one of the Commerce Secretary’s main functions is to advocate US business and promote trade with foreign nations, Locke seems like a good choice, considering China is the second largest economy in the world and Gary is a 2nd generation Chinese American who has executive experience trading with the country, as the former governor of a Pacific coast state.  I doubt Bill Richardson or Judd Gregg have these qualifications.

2. He’s moderate; a free-trade Democrat, he has experienced criticism from his own party for his conservative fiscal approach to Washington’s budget problems in 2001: “Democrats criticized Locke for embracing the Republican Party’s no-new-taxes approach to dealing with Washington’s budget woes during and after the 2001 economic turmoil.”  And while he’s not a deep-red republican, he is an addition to what has been called Obama’s Team of Rivals, as he was an early and prominent supporter of Hilary Clinton’s presidential campaign.

Clinton 2008Clinton 2008

3. He’s literally an Eagle Scout. Locke is about as squeaky clean as they come and will most likely face little to no problems being confirmed as Commerce Secretary.  While the previous two choices brought strong political capital to Obama’s Cabinet (Bill Richardson with the large and growing Hispanic population of the South West; Judd Gregg as an additional Republican member to Obama’s ‘bipartisan’ cabinet), Locke instead represents, what Obama himself describes as, “a tireless advocate for our economic competitiveness and an influential ambassador for American industry who will help us do everything we can, especially now, to promote our industry around the world.”

450gary_locke194. He’s got a great personal story; a bio that fits in perfectly with Obama’s image of change and hope.  Here is his story in his own words:

“100 years ago my grandfather came from China as a teenager and worked for a family as a houseboy in exchange for English lessons, just one mile away from the Governor’s Mansion.  It took our family 100 years to move that one mile; a journey possible only in America.”

Like Obama, he worked hard and helped put himself through school:

He graduated with honors from Seattle’s Franklin High School in 1968. Locke achieved Eagle Scout and received the Distinguished Eagle Scout Award from the Boy Scouts of America. Through a combination of part-time jobs, financial aid and scholarships, Locke attended Yale University, earning a bachelor’s degree in political science in 1972. He then earned a law degree from the Boston University School of Law in 1975.

5. He’s young, fresh, and most importantly, different from what we’ve had in the past.  He fits in well with the current administration (hot wife, cute kids), and did I mention, he speaks Cantonese?  Of the three choices we’ve had, he is by far the best for the position.  Good luck, bad luck… Who knows?locke_family

, , , , , , ,

5 Comments