Posts Tagged Republican Party
The Beginning of the End
Posted by zoboxrox in malfunction, politics on July 29th, 2009
I, for one, do not want the Republican Party to dissolve, believe it or not. It is far too amusing to watch, fumbling around issues. More importantly, its probably one of the few things that unites the Democrats at this point — they’re almost as splintered. But, at least in the Senate, it appears the thousands of cracks in the GOP are opening up into full blown schisms. You know the silly dog that bites his own tail — imagine its an elephant.
It started yesterday when Republican Senator George Voinovich of Ohio, who has already stepped on some GOP toes recently, went ahead and said this out loud and to another person, for reasons only known to himself (CNN reports):
Republican Sen. George Voinovich, who is not running for re-election next year, told a newspaper in his home state of Ohio yesterday that Southerners bore a good share of the blame for his party’s lagging popularity.
“We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns,” Voinovich told the Columbus Dispatch Monday. “It’s the Southerners….
“They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr,’” he said, according to the paper. “People hear them and say, ‘These people, they’re Southerners. The party’s being taken over by Southerners. What they hell they got to do with Ohio?’”
Well guess who was not too happy about this? Did you guess Southern Republicans? You’re so smart. Once again, CNN reports.
Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana slammed fellow Republican George Voinovich Wednesday for saying the GOP’s problems stem from the fact that it is “being taken over by Southerners,” calling the Ohio senator “a moderate, really wishy-washy.”
“I’m on the side of conservatives getting back to core conservative values,” Vitter told the Washington Times. “There are a lot of us from the South who hold those values, which I think the party is supposed to be about. We strayed from them in the past few years, and that’s why we performed so badly in the national elections.
I suggest these guys settle this the old fashioned way… take it outside.
Its Just Gotten Too Easy
Posted by zoboxrox in malfunction, not news, politics on June 25th, 2009
Throughout my back and forth between all the news outlets today, I just couldn’t help but become enthralled. What is wrong with these people?! Did IQs suddenly just drop?
Haven’t done a top 5 list in a while, so here’s a new one. Top 5 morons currently in politics (here is a more complete list).
5. Ok, so lets start with (the already forgotten) Republican Senator John Ensign, who, just ten days 
ago, publicly admitted to having an extra-marital affair a year ago….with a campaign staffer. His fellow Republicans did a pretty good job holding in the vomit upon learning of the indiscretion.
Senator Ensign was, until his very recent resignation as chairman of the Republican Policy Committee, the fourth-ranking Pube among the party’s senatorial leadership. I actually have a soft spot for the guy — he started off his career as a vet, opening two 24-hour emergency animal hospitals (which are very useful when you have an animal emergency!). So what if he’s a born-again, Pentecostal “promise-keeper” (*laugh*). So what that in 1998 when Bill Clinton was caught cheating Ensign pushed for his resignation.
“Think about it. He sent taxpayer-paid staff out to lie for him, and that is a misuse of office,” Ensign said.
Good point John Ensign. Too bad you blew any credibility you ever had.
4. Former Senator and Presidential hopeful John Edwards is number four here, which goes to show how bad the other three are. Ok, Johnny, here’s a little piece of advice: if you’re running for President of the United States of America, don’t have an affair. Or, if you absolutely must have an affair, don’t run for president. Oh, and if you decide to go ahead and do both, don’t have a baby! Moron. I can’t believe I voted for you… even if you are a little dreamy. 
3. Former Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer comes in third for his run around a prostitution ring. What I will say about Eliot, which I can’t say for any of these other guys, he ducked and covered. I mean, when you’re under fire, get out da’ way! I suppose Spitzers resignation stems from the fact that prostitution is illegal, while cheating is only a no-no in the eyes of g-d. Anyway, he’s a dumbass because when you use hookers, you get caught. Unless you kill them. In which case, staffers are just as disposable. Ask Gary Condit! Spitzer’s affair was so unforgettably bad, it got its own wikipedia page.
2. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is second for his little week-long disappearing act/trip to BA (jealous!) to visit his mistress Maria. Here’s the thing, when you are the governor of a state, that’s like being a parent — like being octomom even! When you go “missing,” people start to notice. Therefore, if you are attempting to be discreet, tell someone what to do when people start asking where you’ve gone. And don’t leave your wife at home, pissed off enough to admit to the media that even she has no idea where you are. I mean, you’ve been running a goddamn state (not very well, but whatevs) for the past few years, don’t you have any idea how anything works?!
1. But the number one dummy of the bunch, and this may come as a shock to those of you who liken me with Ethyl Rosenburg, the winner of our biggest dick-heads in politics is… everyones favorite Former President William Jefferson Clinton. 
I mean, when you’re running the world, you can’t just go boing the interns… and every other woman you’ve ever met. I’ve got to eat dinner, and I don’t want to make myself nauseated, so I’ll spare us all the details, but you remember, and I’m sure as soon as I say ‘cigar’ you’ll get where I’m at.
Now don’t ever say I never did anything bi-partisan.
RIP MJ
Specter Spectacular
You may remember when I wrote about Arlen Spector a few months ago and said I’d most likely never thank him again. Well I was wrong, cause I am certainly thanking him right now.
Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania said on Tuesday he would switch to the Democratic party, presenting Democrats with a possible 60th vote and the power to break Senate filibusters as they try to advance the Obama administration’s new agenda.
In a statement issued about noon as the Capitol was digesting the stunning turn of events, Mr. Specter said he had concluded that his party had moved too far to the right, a fact demonstrated by the migration of 200,000 Pennsylvania Republicans to the Democratic Party.
“I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans,” Mr. Specter said, acknowledging that his decision was certain to disappoint colleagues and supporters.
Now I know there’s Swine Flu, and earthquakes, and 9/11 re-enactments in New York, but this news is tremendous — spectacularly huge, as far as political news goes. Not only does it change the numbers in the Senate in an acutely important way, but it sends such a message of Change, which is what this administration is supposed to be all about.
I’ve been waiting so long for someone in the GOP to do the right thing, which is mainly, prove to its members that its OK to evolve: an entity that fears progress so much will never survive, the world is in a constant state of movement and chaos; whether we like it or not it is not now and will never be simple and still. And I’m in no way calling for every Republican to switch parties; instead I think this is a healthy reminder that politics is supposed to be fluid, not fixed. So many members of the GOP have been clinging to heavy issues that are, inevitably, sinking the ship. They need to stop focusing on religious and social topics, and start to actually talk about the money, which is the one thing you’ve got on your side right now. I think it was actually Megan McCain who said it best:
I consider myself a progressive Republican. I am liberal on social issues. And I think that the party is at a place where social issues shouldn’t be the issues that define the party. And I have taken heat, but in fairness to me, I am a different generation than the people that are giving me heat….We have a very big generation gap between me and my father….I was raised in an open-minded home. I was raised a Christian, but I was raised open-minded Christian — one to accept people, love people, not pass judgment.
People give Megan McCain a lot of sh*t because, I dunno, she’s young and she’s a female and she obviously looks in the mirror before she leaves the house. Well f**k them, in all honesty, I think she’s smart. She and Specter, not afraid of change. Nice kafiah Megan; I’m loving it. 
Warning: Explicit Stupidity
Posted by zoboxrox in crime, human rights, malfunction, politics, tragedy on December 28th, 2008
I happen to be an expert in self-destruction, so I know it when I see it, and right now I see the Republican Party acting like an
angry adolescent who just doesn’t give a !@#$ what anyone else thinks. And while rebellion has always been an effective political tool, I think when your party is one of tradition, conservatism, and so-called morality, flamboyant disregard of common decency and contemporary etiquette, well, it just doesn’t look so good on you.
Take, for example, the Holiday CD, We Hate the USA, distributed by Chip Saltsman (former Huckabee advisor, current contender to lead the Republican National Committee as new Chair, if you wanna give him a call here is the number listed on his campaign website: 615-386-0026 or to comment on his facebook page go here) to fellow RNC members containing the outrageously titled song, “Barack the Magic Negro,” set to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary’s “Puff the Magic Dragon” and written by Chip’s dear friend Paul Shanklin, who can be contacted here Paul@paulshanklin.com.
While the content of the CD has caused somewhat of an uproar within the GOP, never mind outside of it, most vocally from Saltsman’s biggest opponent, current RNC Chair Mike Duncan who is quoted as saying, “I am shocked and appalled that anyone would think this is appropriate as it clearly does not move us in the right direction,” there are those who think the hype is overblown, such as fellow Chair contender, Ken Blackwell, who can be contacted here:ken@blackwell2009.com and who happens to be a negro himself.
Not all of Saltsman’s rivals criticized him. Former Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, who would become the first black RNC chairman, defended Saltsman and attacked the media.
“Unfortunately, there is hypersensitivity in the press regarding matters of race. This is in large measure due to President-elect Obama being the first African American elected president,” Blackwell said.
Hmmm? That’s not the way I learned it. As far as I was concerned, we here in the good old US of A are “hypersensitive regarding matters of race” because of a not-so-distant institution called American Slavery, which went on for over 250 years and stole the lives of nearly 15 million Africans and another 10 million African-Americans born into the repugnant practice. The Republican Party was, ironically, born out of the idea that slavery was wrong and against the all-American principle of freedom:
The Republican Party was created in 1854 in opposition to the Kansas-Nebraska Act that would have allowed the expansion of slavery into Kansas. Besides opposition to the expansion of slavery, the new party put forward a progressive vision of modernizing the United States — emphasizing higher education, banking, railroads, industry and cities, while promising free homesteads to farmers
How could this have happened?
Well, quite obviously, Saltsman and Shanklin are not the first of their kind. Let me remind you of some of their most recent predecessors, in order of malignancy:
1. Ann Coulter: the conservative media darling who set the world on fire with her flaming rhetoric and patent-leather dominatrix/under-age-school-girl-fantasy mini dress. Here’s her own little tune she wrote in celebration of Kwanzaa, as well as her very own description of the holiday, written with the se
nsitivity that is so typical of this long legged gargoyle:
(To the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell
Whitey has to pay;
Burning, shooting, oh what fun
On this made-up holiday!Kwanzaa itself is a nutty blend of schmaltzy ’60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism. Indeed, the seven “principles” of Kwanzaa praise collectivism in every possible arena of life — economics, work, personality, even litter removal. (”Kuumba: Everyone should strive to improve the community and make it more beautiful.”) It takes a village to raise a police snitch.
Thank you Ann, for your help in my demonstration. You are instrumental to the GOP’s adoption of open racism as political rhetoric. The best thing about Annie is everything you could ever need to prove that she is an idiot, you can find on her very own website! She, however, does not provide contact information, sadly.
2. The Devil
3. David Duke: The main ethical difference, as I see it, between conservatives and liberals is that conservatives have a tendency to assassinate the lefty leaders they can’t defeat (Lincoln, Kennedy, King, Kennedy, Hampton, Milk, etc). For some reason, liberals haven’t gotten there quite as fast, maybe because they value life, but if they had, I imagine David Duke would have been one of their most probable targets. The former KKK member was elected into politics in 1989 when he won a seat in Louisiana’s State Legislature. Here is his least offensive quote I could find:
“What we really want to do is to be left alone. We don’t want Negroes around. We don’t need Negroes around. We’re not asking –– you know, we don’t want to have them, you know, for our culture. We simply want our own country and our own society. That’s in no way exploitive at all. We want our own society, our own nation….”
Duke eventually faded out of the limelight, but I hear he’s big in Russia now. Good for you David, keep up all the good work.
4. Rush Limbaugh: There’s a website dedicated entirely to Limbaugh’s racist statements. Here are some of the 
best/worst ones.
You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.
Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.
They’re 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?
Take that bone out of your nose and call me back (to an African American female caller).
Rush, you sound like a really great guy. You must make conservatives proud.
5. Bill O’Reilly: This charming hunk of a man is a frequent on Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World” segment, and here are a few reasons why:
“Will African-Americans break away from the pack thinking and reject immorality–because that’s the reason the family’s breaking apart–alcohol, drugs, infidelity. You have to reject that, and it doesn’t seem–and I’m broadly speaking here, but a lot of African-Americans won’t reject it”
“We have black leaders in this country who blame everything on whitey, everything’s the system’s fault, and that gives a built-in excuse to fail and act irresponsible. ‘Oh, I can’t get a job. Whitey won’t let me,’ or ‘I can’t get educated. The teachers are bad, so I’m going to go out and get high and sell drugs. That’s the only way we can make money here.’ You know what I mean? And it’s a vicious cycle”
During a segment about black athletes suing over the minimum academic standards for college admission, O’Reilly commented: “Look, you know as well as I do most of these kids come out and they can’t speak English.”
6. Diane Fedele: She is the genius from Southern California’s Chaffey Community Republican Women, who distributed the Obama $10 Food Stamp in their mailing
She then claimed she didn’t realize the symbolism could be considered racist, saying,
“If I was racist, I would have looked at it through racist eyes. I am not racist, which is why it probably didn’t register….The use of watermelon, ribs and fried chicken was innocent…Everyone eats those foods, it’s not a racial thing.”
Aw, that’s a pretty good excuse Diane. A for effort, I know thinking is hard for you.
****
So we’ve come to a point where people have got to be wondering, what’s the next move for the GOP? There are those who would love to watch it go down in flames and eagerly encourage the election of a leader like Saltsman. There are others, however, who remember that this is a party that was founded on the principles of freedom. Would we be doing justice to our heritage by letting it destroy itself in such an unattractive manner?
Colin Powell recently had some advice for his party, which I think they should probably take:
“There is nothing wrong with being conservative. There is nothing wrong with having socially conservative views — I don’t object to that. But if the party wants to have a future in this country, it has to face some realities. In another 20 years, the majority in this country will be the minority… I think the party has to stop shouting at the world and at the country. I think that the party has to take a hard look at itself, and I’ve talked to a number of leaders in recent weeks and they understand that. Can we continue to listen to Rush Limbaugh? Is this really the kind of party that we want to be when these kinds of spokespersons seem to appeal to our lesser instincts rather than our better instincts?“
We should encourage our conservative neighbors to remember the words of Colin Powell and to ask themselves one question when aligning with their party’s prominent voices: What would Lincoln do?
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