No, My Daddy is NOT a Baker, nor is He a Thief
We have all heard them, those cheesy ass lines that make us want to vomit right on the feet of the person delivering them. There are some “classic ones”
Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole the sparkle from the stars and put them in your eyes.
Or
Is your daddy a baker? Because your buns are hot!
Lame, I know. Sure, you might say that they’re a little clever, but then we’d have to sit you down and have a discussion with you on the definition of the word “clever.” They’re cheesy, and I’m pretty sure that throwing a line like that out there is going to ruin your chances of getting your hands on those hot buns. Unless you look like George Clooney or my lover, Eduardo Verastegui.
In my 20ish years of flirting with boys, there are 2 lines that I remember. These have to be the best lines I’ve ever heard. Ever:
The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my room and spread the word.
And:
Do you shave your thighs? Because I wouldn’t want to scratch my face.
Raunchy? Yes! Cheesy? No! I’ll have you know that I did nothing with either one of those dudes, but I was impressed with the lines.
Worst one I ever heard was back when I was in college. I was 18 and I found myself in the back seat of my friend’s car making out with some 23 year old dude. He was hot like fire, and I would have considered doing it with him (mind you, I had only done it one other time). Then he went and ruined it by saying, “So this is what they call Spanish passion.” Talk about mood killer. Who the hell needed a cold shower when there’s a dude spouting off stupid lines.
What’s the lamest line you’ve ever heard?
The worst line I’ve ever heard was when I was in the Navy.
While relaxing at the bar, one of my buddies spotted a well-busted girl, and went over to impress her.
His line?
*never taking his eyes off her boobs* “Nice shoes.. Wanna f*ck?”
I don’t know why, but she took him up on the deal.
Do you think Foxy might have been around Boston in 1992? This is where she could’ve gotten her start, and some of the nasty stuff that she’s been spreading…….
Man, that is really klassy right there. -CS
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Catherinette, Ross Felix. Ross Felix said: RT @Catherinette: No, My Daddy is NOT a Baker, nor is He an Thief http://bit.ly/2lE9lR Tell us about the cheesiest line you've ever heard! [...]
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Catherinette: No, My Daddy is NOT a Baker, nor is He an Thief http://bit.ly/2lE9lR Tell us about the cheesiest line you’ve ever heard!…
“All those curves and me with no brakes.”
The lamest one I’ve ever heard do you want some Mexican ( you can use Irish, Italian etc) in you , do you want some?” the second lamest one was: lets do some math: you, plus me, minus the clothes, divide the legs and lets multiply.. (gag) where do men get these horrible lines?
I used to work at a bar, so I’ve heard a few. My favorite:
Do you wash your pants in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.
I once got “My mum told me I’d be a kisser one day, wanna try it out?”
How lame is that ?
..But, apparently it worked. Frankly, I think I’m glad I was wayy too drunk to have any memory of this incident.
One me and my bestie somehow came across online - “Have you ever raised chickens? Cuz you sure raised my cock!”
.. We found this one pretty funny. Although, admittedly, the degree of hilarity prrrrobably had something to do with the fact that we were 12 at the time..
Who knows. Either way, I’ll never forget it.
(In fact, I think if a guy ever tried that line on me, i’d give him a go, just for old times sake haha!)
This one actually works for me… I’m too drunk to drive home, so I’m going to have to bang you at your place tonight.
Hey does this rag smell like ether?
Dammit, I’ve never heard the baker one and my buns are hot! Really. ummm…
One of my best friends high school friends used the Windex line; as a hot blonde she could get away with it. Don’t think it worked but we admired her chutzpah.
I like to keep it simple and say, “Nice tits.” I know immediately how much this woman can take. Yeah… It doesn’t work that often. But at least its fun for me.