Online Dating Makes Me Want to Hurt Myself
Online dating is a very “magical” experience. I haven’t had the best experiences with online dating, as witnessed here and here, but I’m going to give it another shot. If my knight in shining armor isn’t going to come knocking on my door, then I guess I have to do something to let him know I exist…seeing as how sitting on my sofa doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. My profile has been up and running on one of the online dating websites, but no one has really piqued my interest…until recently. Suddenly, there seem to be 3 that might be worthy of a date:
We have:
- LOLCATS: so named because he likes to send me forwards of crazy cat videos.
- Drama Teacher: this poor bastard has been through the ringer. You wouldn’t believe the message that he sent me about some of the MAJOR drama that he went through when he and his first wife separated/divorce. Oh, and he likes the theater. A theater buff with a troubled past.
- Bachelor #3: I can’t come up with a good nickname for him, but he’s pretty funny.
LOLCATS and I have been emailing back and forth for a few weeks now. We’ll be going out on Thursday for the first time. I’ve got a feeling that I’ve already written him off. The dude sends too many emails/texts. I don’t want to read 100 forwards everyday, I totally pass. Plus I nicknamed him LOLCATS-I can’t have a relationship with a dude that sends crazy cat videos and owns cats. I just can’t.
Which begs the question: why would I go out with him? The answer: I have a history for making extremely bad dating decisions. I figure if I go totally against my instinct (ala Geroge Costanza), maybe I’ll have better luck.
Oh, and as for Drama Teacher, there are way too many red flags being thrown. Though I have to admit that his stories have sucked me in. Talk about soap opera!!
Be brave, Catherinette. I think you can make it through that date with LOLCATS.
Can’t wait to hear the story!!
I think you just like to see my suffer. -CS
Oh, honey. You don’t want a guy who blurts out the whole sob story of his divorce before he’s even bought you a beer. That’s not a flag. That’s the side of 30 story building painted solid red. Yikes.
LOLCATS seems like he’ll be fun for a date, but yeah, the occasional cat video is amusing, but more than one a day is maybe too much. Can’t wait to hear what he’s like in person
It’s not just a sob story, it’s a crazy story!! Highlights include cheating, DNA tests, and hitting… Oh, and a scene with a knife attack. I might have to pass that one.
If he tells any cat jokes, I’m walking out. -CS
I kinda agree with Jenna on the divorcee, but I’d also say that EG told me that my profile had all kinds of red flags but he asked me out anyway b/c of my smile. And none of the things he thought were going to be problems turned out to be. Different stuff, sure, but nobody’s perfect…
I should forward you the email and then you tell me what you think… -CS
Ohai Cath, you can haz date with tha weirdo. You can writez da blogs fer mi. You gaz funz wif da LOLCATS. Kthanxbai
BWAHAHAHA!! You are totally cracking me up today. That’s hilarious! -CS
OK…all the ones that raise red flag or otherwise end up stalking me….beware! I broke up with Old (as in too old for me) in January and I am still getting stupid text messages. UGH..again. I’d rather be alone that deal that that kind of pathetic behavior. Of course, sitting here won’t bring me my Knight either. Hmmmmm..I’ll have to see how your OLD (online dating) turns out!
I’m right there with you. I’m not one of those girls that HAS to be with someone just to say they’re with someone. F that.
Love the OLD acronym by the way.
-CS
B owned a cat when I met him, however, he did NOT forward me numerous cat videos. In fact, he didn’t forward me any at all. I am suspect about LOLCATS.
He might have to go the way of the dodo. -CS
Go for Door #3.
What if there are monsters behind the door? -CS
I’m going to wager that LOLcats is socially awkward. Which will make for a hilarious date. And Drama Teacher is absolutely the crazy. I think I’d skip even meeting him if it were me, however I encourage you to ignore that advice simply so I can hear the stories. (And I want to see the psychotic story email!)
So far #3 is the only one who doesn’t scare me. Yet.
I agree with you on Drama Teacher, yet it would make for such a wonderful and joyous story. I’m sure he’s really nice, and emotionally broken - just like I like them! -CS
My experience with online dating has been short of disaster and desperation. I don’t know if I have the energy to put myself in that wringer again. Of course if you meet the man of your dreams (and trust me, everyone I know has an e-harmony story to share with me) I might, just might try again!
It really does take a lot of energy, doesn’t it? -CS
I have still yet to learn the lesson. I have been on and off online dating for years. Its usually one drunken night when some asshat’s opening line on IM is “hey, I’d love to f**k your tits” that I go all apeshit, block everyone, remove my profile from all dating sites, and like you, wait for my prince while sitting on the couch watching reruns of The Bachlorette and drooling over the boys.
Did I mention I’m online again … please send me a “lobotomy in a box” …
Why can’t they just take the hint and show up at our doors with roses and champagne? They make this so difficult. -CS
Uhm, yeah, do your best to put your preconceived ideas aside and go through the LOLCATS date.. you never know .. one date won’t kill you :o) Good luck !
Keep the drama teacher and all of his past experiences for entertainment purposes .. and just drop him as a prospect. He’s too complicated :o)
But he’s so needy! I don’t do needy…anymore. -CS
LOLCATS sounds like he spends too much time, well, with his cats.
The drama teacher is not only covered in red flags, he is wearing a red “elmo”-like suit while wearing a flashing red light like a hat on his head. RUN! RUN! RUN! Any guy who puts all of that out there right away is looking for attention and a mom.