“Suckfest” Defined
I know what you’re thinking. From the title, you’re assuming that while on vacation, I met some hot sailor and we ended up rocking his boat all night and that I’m going to describe (in juicy detail) how he introduced me to some wild new positions. Sorry to burst your bubble. No, this post does not have anything to do with nudity, obscene acts, or sex for that matter.
I’m using the term “suckfest” to describe the situation of losing cable and internet connection while trapped in a house with Baltimore’s Biggest Brats (which includes my sister). Due to some foul freaking weather we’ve been having here in Cape Cod we’ve been spending much of our times indoors. Yesterday we got caught in a massive storm that knocked out the power. We were lucky to have it restored pretty quickly. Thank God for that. Unfortunately, the restoration of cable and internet did not occur at the same time.
I can live without TV, I really can. But Baltimore’s Biggest Brats need to get their fix of children’s programming or else they get brattier than normal. There were multiple fits pitched yesterday because Lucy(fer) was unable to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants and Damien was missing the latest Family Guy (which isn’t really a kids show but I let him watch it because it’s a cartoon). Thankfully, there was plenty of beer in the house so I made it through.
The really rough part for me, however, was that I couldn’t connect to the internet. I literally would try connecting every 15 minutes for 4 hours. It’s pretty sad. I’d turn on the computer, try to load my homepage, wait 5 minutes for the “FAIL” page to appear, check all the connections, shed a tear, and then try all over again. I felt so isolated from the outside world. What if I had something important that I needed to post? What if the man of my dreams was trying to send me a message on that dating website? What if I wanted to catch up on the latest episode of True Blood? Talk about travesty. I had to take an Ambien to be able to sleep.
The first thing I did this morning after cursing the children for waking me up was try to connect to the internet. Yeah, no luck. After 4 attempts, I cursed the world and let it go. I was sure that we’d be SOL for the rest of our time here. Thankfully, when I walked in this afternoon, I realized that we had been saved from what would have been a terrible rest of the week.
Thank god for wireless access!!
