Crossing the (Panty) Line
Visible panty lines should be considered a crime against humanity. People who have them should be immediately given a fashion citation and be forced to pay a hefty fine and do community service. After all, panty lines assault the eyes and make many of us want to puke twice and die.
As a rule, I do not wear underwear. There are 2 reasons for this:
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I hate panty lines more than I hate Celine Dion’s warbling voice.
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I’m lazy and hate doing laundry.
I’ve found that my suitors typically enjoy the discovery that there’s little standing in their way when we’re about to hit the sheets. Sadly, there have been ZERO suitors in the last 8 months. But that’s an entirely different sad, tragic story and I’m at work right now and don’t want to be caught weeping at my desk.
A few weeks ago, I decided to change things up a bit and started wearing panties again. There are exactly zero pairs of granny panties in my lingerie drawer - those, as the name explains, are reserved for grandmothers, and I am not a grandmother. I do, however, have some cute boy shorts which cut right across the cheeks. They look lovely, on their own (assuming you can get past my fat thighs).
For some reason, I decided to don my favorite red pair under my pants today.
Off I went to the bathroom in the afternoon, and that’s when I discovered that I had panty lines. My day is ruined. My day and anyone else that has been behind me and taken a gander at my rear.
I’d like to take this opportunity to make a formal apology to anyone that has been exposed to this uncalled for crime.
Now, if you
Girl, have I get a nugget of wisdom to pass along to you! I want you to scoot yourself to Barnes & Noble (or whatever bookstore, my sister is a manager at one, so I’m obligated to pimp it) and pick up a copy of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date , and Mate! Get it? MANual??? Anywhooski…one of his big tips is MEN LOVE PANTY LINES! I wouldn’t lie to ya sister. That book opened my eyes to so many things that have never even occurred to me! And the guy who wrote it, Steve Santagati, not so bad on the eyes.
That is all.
Sister, I already read that book. And guess what? They only like them SOMETIMES and these would not be the kind that they like. -CS
That should be “got” not “get”. Seriously. I hate when I make an error and can’t fix it.
Well, in that case, commando is better than the thong. I never really thought about it until I heard a medical professional explain why in detail. Bleh…
I agree, panty lines are bad and only little girls should have them. And men who like those kind of panty lines are perverts anyway. I still prefer the thong to commando style. Too many nasties to expose my parts to out in the real world and I am NOT fond of showing just anyone what I’ve got going on down under.
I don’t like panty lines either but I can’t go cammando (I just can’t) and only wear thongs when it is necessary. So my jeans are just a little loose - Solves my problem. Except I am sure that I am breaking some fashion rule.
What is ‘commando style’?
OK, OK, I’m stupid! I get it - ‘commando style’ means NO panties.
The last 3 words of your post are “now if you.” Now if I what??? I’m going to be in suspense all night!
Anyway, I personally don’t like panty lines. They seem a bit DubT, if you ask me. I’m a fan of a thong with dress slacks. The problem is, my husband HATES thongs. He says there’s nothing sexy about seeing a girl with a wedgie. His favorite look is white cotton bikinis… he’s kind of a pervert, yes!
Since you have been going commando for such a long while and thus not accoustomed to thinking of such things, I’m willing to give you a pass for the one-day debacle of panty lines. Of course, that is easy for me since I’m not one of the folks who saw the lines on your rear.
What is you opinion on guys who go commando?
I refuse to buy into the no VPL mindset. So I’m wearing underwear. Sometimes you might see evidence of that. Who gives a rat’s (lined) ass?
I’m far more horrified when I catch an accidental flash of someone’s vagina than I am to see someone’s underwear lines. Just sayin’.
That is the exsact reason why:
A) I don’t wear pantys that often
B) When I do, I wear thongs.