MTV has launched a multi-year initiative aimed at stopping the spread of digital abuse and harassment. Called “A Thin Line,” the goal of the initiative is to empower America’s youth to identify, respond to and stop the spread of sexting, cyberbullying, harassment, and whatever forms of digital dating abuse are out there:

According to a new study released on Thursday by MTV and The Associated Press that explores the full scope of digital abuse, 50 percent of 14-to-24-year-olds have been the target of some form of digital abuse, 30 percent have sent or received nude photos of other young people on their cell phones or online and 12 percent of those who have sexted have contemplated suicide, a rate four times higher than those who haven’t. The study explores the pervasiveness of digital abuse, how it’s affecting America’s youth, how they’re responding to it, their concerns and much more.

I think the program would be more effective if MTV, along with sister VH1 (mother f-er of the Ward-rape mess), played more music videos (and less sexist violent stuff at that), as opposed to their lusty depraved programming; but at least someone is trying something to address dating violence.

PS Don’t forget to read this important blog news!

The rumors are true. Relationship Underarm Stick will no longer be a part of Twolia as of the first of the year. In a classic case of It’s-not-you-it’s-me, Towlia has decided to focus more on their creative women portal and I just don’t fit in with that. But unlike most breakups I’ve ever had, this one continues to amicable. No, really, it is. They’ve got to do what they’ve got to do. And me? Well, the new home of Relationship Underarm Stick will be here, part of the new Kitsch Slapped.

And you’ll be able to find me:

* dishing about dating at Date1411.com
* talking about relationships at GadaboutMedia.com
* and dealing with the subjects of abuse, domestic violence, rape, safety and recovery at GadaboutHealth.com.

So set your feeds and bookmarks accordingly — I don’t want to be accused of standing you up on New Year’s *wink*

Meanwhile, I’ll continue to put out - err, post articles here at Twolia. So stick around. (But don’t forget to update your feeds and bookmarks so you don’t miss a thing.)

Dating site Zoosk (which you may have seen or used on Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, etc.) has closed a $30 million funding deal according to The Washington Post.

Last October the dating service reached the 40 million user milestone, boasting that 12 million members are active, resulting in predictions of $20 million in revenue this year. This means the site should be around in time for you to find at least one summer fling.

But also how Zoosk has positioned itself, according to The Washington Post:

The site tries to differentiate itself from dating portals like Match.com by getting distribution on as many platforms as possible, as well as by targeting a 25-35 year old demographic.

If you’re looking for young urban hipsters, Zoosk just might be your meet market.

Over at Date 1411 there’s an article on married people who think it’s more fun being single:

Having been a single mother, dating became more challenging than my chosen career. Every relationship, when fresh and new gives you the sense of bliss, but when the newness wears off, you’d better have more to go on than laughter and lust.

Although I strongly urge anyone who is in an abusive relationship to find the courage to leave, I, on the other hand encourage anyone seeking a little more excitement to look within themselves and their own relationship and do what you can to create that excitement and passion at home. Leaving a spouse or partner because the relationship has grown boring can only lead to more heartache, more work and more confusion than you ever imagined. Remember it does take two to create passion!

I think it’s good advice, and for singles too. Those who think marriage or coupledom is the cure for boredom, or that a little more excitement is automatic when in a relationship, should look within themselves first.

This time it’s NBC’s casting call that has me arching my brows and tilting my head like the old RCA dog. Does anyone else find “Do You and Your Spouse Argue about Burial Plots?”

It’s not that I don’t think people argue about these things; I’m sure they do. Fundamentally it’s simply a matter of values related to money and spirituality, and respectfully working those issues out, right? But somehow I don’t think NBC is going to have the couple work through the real issues of, “He wants a pyramid and I don’t!”

Based on what I’ve seen of reality TV, this ‘helpful’ bit of television programing involves Suzy Orman and Rabbi Shmuley educating and then coaching teams for debate and steel cage matches. In cases ending in a tie, Orman and Shmuley themselves enter the cage…

I’m not one to advocate going to a movie for a first date; other than the discussion of what movie to see, there’s little opportunity for conversation. And dates — especially first dates — are all about conversation, the chance to learn about one another. You need to know something about the other person in order to enjoy the snuggle-up time.

Teenage Couple Necking in a Movie Theater

However, some people find the lack of conversation more relaxing for a first date — and others find themselves going to movies on a first date because that’s what the other planned. In either case, the way to make the most of a date to the movies is to stop for coffee or pie or something afterwards. (Don’t worry, about adding on an extra thing to pay for. If he’s cheap, or you simply fear how it will look, make it clear when you suggest stopping at the dinner, that you’ll pay for it.)

After the movie, you can both discuss what you liked or didn’t like about the movie. Don’t view this as some intimidating film critiquing experience; just talk about what you saw, what you liked, etc. To avoid coming across as negative or slamming his film choice (and therefore the date), don’t talk about what you hated — unless/until he does.

Funny and wise tips found on Twitter:

marceldavis #nottosayonfirstdate I love you

RyanDenyse #nottosayonfirstdate my ex cheated on me and gave me a STD

SecretSiren I’m sorry if I seem nervous. I don’t usually date outside the family #nottosayonfirstdate

rauldg DAMN YOUR MOM IS HOT #nottosayonfirstdate

Koolmojay #nottosayonfirstdate “Can i borrow $20?”

Thisrespekwear #nottosayonfirstdate my curfew is at 10pm

tejas74 How much do you weigh. And im not asking becuase you look fat its jthe sex swing in the bedroom is only rated to 160lbs #NotToSayOnFirstDate

PurestEmotion #nottosayonfirstdate I have commitment issues.

InkPanther Can you believe minorities and women get to VOTE??? Crazy right? #NotToSayOnFirstDate

vickypinheiro #nottosayonfirstdate do you wanna go see New Moon ?

unclesean I love this restaurant. My dates seem to cry a lot here but the restaurant itself is great.

iheartyou_ #nottosayonfirstdate i’m just waiting on my test results for my chlamydia test.

SpongeBreezy #nottosayonfirstdate you know if you order lobster or steak or anythin over $10 I automatically get to f*** u for 3 months right?

PS You can hook-up with me on Twitter: @UnderarmStick.

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At Motherhood Metamorphosis, Deanna writes, “You Know Sex Ed Is Really Bad When… Cosmo can’t even get it right. In their instructions for Sex Position of the Day: Sensual Shower, their diagram for how to achieve erotic thrills literally misses the mark — the genitals don’t even line up.”

And then she proves the point, by illustrating the error of Cosmo’s ways.  (If you’re a curious grown-up who won’t be offended, click here to see the line drawings.)

The one thing that Deanna failed to note is that along with impossible penetration, the female form is levitated. Perhaps that’s Cosmo pandering to men again, allowing him to imagine his pen-is a mighty sword, capable of lifting women off of the ground

Don’t you just hate it when your man turns to you and says, “I like you better without make-up,” or makes some comment about how he “prefers the natural look” — and you remember how you looked when you met, all dolled-up. You (and I) know that he was drawn to you for how you looked that night… His lust was written all over his face — in his own drool! Yet here is now, acting like that never ever happened. Infuriating, isn’t it?

So just what is the deal, anyway?

Is he complaining about the artifice because he feels tricked? No, not if he’s been with you for months, treating you like a queen, married you; he’s already gotten over you, your morning face, and the fact that your push-up bra is a devilish bit of engineering and your lips aren’t naturally that rosy.

Is this his way of making you less attractive to other guys? Well, I can’t rule that possibility in or out without knowing more… Some controlling guys do do that. But I can tell you what I know.

Fact: Men are naturally, biologically, attracted to beauty. So when they say they don’t like the ‘unnatural’ beauty what they are really saying is that they don’t like living with it. And not because they aren’t man enough to shave at the same sink where pink lipstick sits.

Sure, men see you all dolled-up and are attracted to it, but that’s more of an unconscious thing, a perception; their complaints are based on more direct and palpable experiences.

Think back to your own first experiences with makeup… Remember when you first put on that Chapstick, Bonnie Bell Lipsmacker, gloss or lipstick? You sure could feel the pure petroleum, the carnauba wax, and whatever else puts the Eeeiiww in eeeiiww-mollients. It took some time getting used to… But you put up with it for the attention you got. Men (at least the complaining sort) don’t find any perks for dealing with it and just plain don’t want to get used to it.

Some guys will accept a girl who is high-maintenance because she’s needy, neurotic or controlling longer than they will a high-maintenance glamour girl, simply because it’s a lot easier for them to avoid the emotional sticky-stuff than it is the unappealing tactile issues of cosmetic goo.

So just how does a woman balance the application of makeup to highlight her features and be desirable yet remain touchable?

For help I enlisted the help of some other women who make their livings off of being attractive to men: sex workers. Yup, I asked strippers, escorts, and call girls for some beauty advice. I figured they’d be the ones to know.

(I shouldn’t have to say this, but many people are paranoid when it comes to sex workers, so I will. No one is stating or implying that men seek the services of a sex worker simply due to makeup issues; those reasons are far more complicated. No one is making the comparison between the use of cosmetics and being a whore; so-called ‘painted ladies’ are everywhere now. And, for the record, not all sex work is illegal; and let’s not get all tied up in the ‘morality debate’ — today anyway. This is just about working girls sharing how they work the makeup.)

Beauty Tips From Sex Workers

When it comes to make-up, less is definitely more. You want to create “come hither,” but not “look, don’t touch!” So don’t go the model route, with layers of concealers, color correctors, foundation, lip liner, filler, and stains. You’re not posing for hours here, looking aloof and untouchable, so don’t create any unnecessary barriers to being touched.

If you don’t want to discourage the nooners, that potential kiss at the office, or you just don’t want to wake-up scary (plus sleeping in makeup does bad things to your eyes and skin), the old K.I.S.S. — Keep It Simple Stupid — really does apply to makeup application.

Skip the foundations; just use a sunblock and powder. If you insist, blusher. And if you’ve got a blemish or two, just dab on a concealer (or concealing zit treatment) before you powder.

Keep your eye makeup simple too. The most natural eyeshadow color is a violet or mauve — these are shades naturally found it most every complexion, believe it or not (think of the tint blood vessels give the thin skin on the eyelid) so they look the least like “make-up.”

Either use waterproof mascara that will last; or one that is super easily removed (with soap & water or baby wipes — very portable!). Several of these sex workers also said that they ‘cheated’ by using mascara as a liner, using the tip of the applicator to line at the base of the eyelashes. It gives a less noticeable line and it stays put longer than eye liners.

Do not ever line the inside of your eyes with liner. Not only does it actually make your eyes appear smaller, but it’s not good for your eyes and it always goos-up in the corners of your eyes. Not a good look for intimate situations, when he’s taking in your every little detail.

Powder, powder, powder! Use a light application of loose powder to set everything from your blusher to your eyeliner and eyeshadow. Your makeup will wear longer, rub off less, yet it’s easily removed when you want to take it off.

Lipstick: Red lips work. Get a really good sheer red lipstick (One worker specifically noted some shades: “I love Lauder’s Sheer Cherry, though I think that color’s not regularly sold anymore; look for it in the Gift With Purchase sets and seasonal sets. And Avon’s Slick Tint in Glossy Wine is fab!”). If you keep your lips exfoliated (easy to do when you wash your face by gently rubbing your lips with a wet washcloth), you can use a liner to fill in your lips beneath the for extra vibrancy and longer staying power — but if your lips tend to be dry, beware how dry the liner will make your lips look if you blot your lipstick off. Of course, if the skin around your lips is very dry, avoid reds and other bright colors as they bleed and make a mess even before you kiss.

(Of course, there are plenty of guys who get-off on smeared makeup — especially when your eyes tear from err, taking it deep & gagging. But these aren’t the guys who are going to complain that you’re too made up!)

Some men are extremely sensitive to scents & smells and you might be surprised just how many smells there are on you when you’re using beauty products — especially when things heat up and scents start to rise into the air. Take it from the women who make a living off of men who don’t want to go home smelling like another woman: avoid lots of scents. Look for ’sensitive skin’ beauty & skin care products as one of the first things they remove are the perfumes and masking scents. This includes your skin care, your shampoo, your body care products too.

Men don’t like hair they can’t touch. Generally speaking, they want to pull your pony during doggy; not get slapped by you for mussing the ‘do or harming a weave.

Oh, and finger nails! Sure, long nails are pretty in faux lesbian porn, but generous men worry that you won’t be able to rub-out your own orgasm, voyeurs worry they won’t be able to watch it, selfish or quick guys know theire days (and nights) are numbered, and very few men want to see a dragon lady nail going for their prostrate! (One escort noted, “I compromise and have 9 long ones, keeping ‘the shocker’ short.”)

Now that he’s taken you up on the come-hither-offer, it’s time for clean-up. You know that furtive post-coitus pee you take (or at least you should be taking it — urinating after sex helps wash away bacteria; otherwise you risk urinary tract infections) — use that to fix makeup smudges or wash it off entirely and reapply it in minutes. You’ll look as fresh as a daisy — that’s just been plucked!

If you follow these tips, you likely won’t hear him complain about makeup anymore. (But don’t blame me if he can’t keep his hands off you!)

Also in the December issue of Psychology Today, Mina Shaghaghi reports on the findings of a series of studies by Richard Russell of Gettysburg College which explains the “allure of dramatic eye makeup and va-va-voom red lips on women has biological roots.”

It seems that what glamor girls do (whether they know it or not) is increase the contrast of the eyes and lips against the rest of the face — and such contrasts communicate femininity and attractiveness.

These studies indicate that it’s not so much the colors of your cosmetics, but that they darken the eyes and lips, making the rest of your complexion pale even more by comparison.

For more on this, visit Richard Russell’s Research page (scroll to the bottom for the Artificial Enhancement of Facial Signals studies).