“You and your diet were meant to be…”
No truer words could have been spoken.
It is no secret I’m obsessed. It’s no secret that I can’t stop talking about my weight or what I eat or what my “new plan” is. But what it comes down to really is…I have control issues. I have issues with others controlling me, and I have issues with myself being a control freak as well. I obsess about my weight and fitness for the most cliche reason in the world…I feel it is the only area of my life I CAN control right now. I talk about my weight and fitness incessantly because…well, I feel as if it makes me more accountable. Dieting 101, right?
I realize talking about food habits until you’re blue in the face can be somewhat boring to others and, in some cases, discomforting. For me…it is comforting. It gives me strength. It gives me strength in one place to focus. If I can make one step in one area, I know that I can make the next step in another.
I’ve said it before — for my age, for my height, and by all outward appearances…my weight falls right within the realm of normal and healthy. And I am questioned–from time to time–why I seek to better myself in this area, or why I obsess. Control. Control on one hand. Health on another. Because what the questioning public fails to see is a woman fraught with compulsive eating issues and a woman plagued with migraines, depression, body aches and sleeping problems.
I’ve worked hard. With many slip ups. But I’ve worked hard, and I’ve been religious about my time in the gym and eating healthier. The payoff? Less headaches. Less depression. Less body aches. Slow–yet steady weight loss….and I feel strong.
My diet…public and otherwise has given me a certain strength to face demons and devils in my life that are currently Goliath to my David.
It’s no secret that my creativity has suffered this past year. I have had a difficult time devoting time to writing any essays or putting any humor into my words. But it’s through pain that we eventually find laughter, and I’ll take that step again sooner than later.
Stronger. Healthier. Wiser.
Hang in there…laughter will prevail and so will your sanity. I am right there with you!
Oh, Keeks. You are preaching to the control-freaky choir. And Dude, I am sorry you have had a rough go of this year but I must say; if I find you this entertaining when you are in a ’slump’ then I don’t think I’ll be able to contain myself when you are feeling up to par again. I just may end up peeing my Granny panties.